Online Desk: If you are a millennial, chances are your first “true” love blossomed in the garden of Dhanmondi Lake, where receding hairline was the least of your worries. A decade later, and with the questionable success rate of your romantic era, everyone around you is a self-proclaimed philosopher after their third cup of tea and a puff. Such a daunting realisation often leads you to a death-scroll through the highlight reel of your ex’s life. They’re scaling mountains, while you’re barely managing to scale the pile of laundry in the corner of your room. But before you drown in a sea of self-pity, let’s flip the script with some earth-shattering, cha-stirring advice on how to invest in the most scandalously overlooked and self-devalued stock on the market: you.

Redefine your portfolio (a.k.a. yourself)

Think of yourself as a startup. Your ex’s success? Irrelevant market noise. It’s time to invest in R&D (Recreation & Development of self). Begin with upgrading your skills — be it learning the art of making the perfect cup of tea or mastering Python (the programming language, not the snake). Each new skill adds a shiny new feather to your cap, making you not just a more interesting person at social gatherings but also adding tangible value to your personal growth.

Diversify your interests

Your ex might be out there becoming the next sensation in whatever field they choose, but here you are, about to embark on a journey of eclectic hobbies. Ever heard of DIY carpentry? Or perhaps the ancient art of learning how to play a guitar? Now’s the time to dive into the unknown and get out of your comfort zone. Not only will such strides be great conversation starters, but they’ll also enrich your life and yourself in ways that following your ex on social media never could.

Embrace the ‘self-love’ economy

In the grand market of life, self-love is the currency that never devalues. Start investing in your mental and physical well-being. Join that yoga class you’ve always mocked but secretly envied, or indulge in mindfulness meditation to achieve the zen state of a monk (or at least of someone who doesn’t go into existential crisis mode every other day). Remember, a mind at peace is your secret weapon in the battle of moving on.

Joy of missing out

While your ex is busy curating a life that screams “Look at me!” embrace the joy of missing out. Find delight in the small, un-Instagrammable moments — like the taste of chaa without sugar (if you’re into that sort of self-torture) or the sound of rain without the accompanying worry of getting your freshly laundered clothes wet. These moments, trivial as they may seem, are the building blocks of genuine happiness.

Watching them tying the knot

You’ve just learned your ex has tied the knot. Yes, the one who once dreamt with you under the same sky is now officially off the market, married, and embarking on a new journey without you. Before you let this news churn your insides like badly digested biryani, take a deep breath. It’s time to channel your inner Zen master and focus on the only plot twist that matters — your own growth and happiness. Use this moment not as a cue for self-pity but as a catapult to launch yourself into realms of personal development you’ve never explored. Dive into that hobby or project you’ve shelved for “someday.”

Reconnect with old friends or make new ones who align with the person you’re becoming, not the one you were. Let your ex’s marriage be a reminder that life moves forward, and so should you, with grace, resilience, and an unwavering commitment to investing in yourself. After all, the best revenge is not living well — it’s thriving so unapologetically that your happiness becomes a beacon for your own fulfilled life, not a shadow of someone else’s.

Disclaimer: Don’t get married to the first person you have sent a friend request to just because your ex got married. BAD IDEA!

Remind yourself the next time you catch yourself comparing your life to your ex-lover’s best moments. All that matters is “ex-celling” at being the best possible version of yourself. So, raise a glass of fizzy drink to the skies and toast to your own adventure.